Baking for The Bell Center

Just a short post to show the wonderful support of a community that comes together for a cause!


I am in amazement of the children, the teachers, friends, neighbors, and the media that came out to bring awareness for The Bell Center!!  KUDOS to all involved--a true pay it forward moment!

Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary!!

So tomorrow is my 43rd birthday.  I have so much to be thankful for:  life, family, God, job, health, friends, shelter, and the list goes on....

I kind of think I may be going a bit over board on my birthday.. I mean it is only 43.  There is nothing special about the number.  Nothing at all...40 was fabulous and I am trying to convince my kids its only my 37th birthday.  However, a year ago my life totally changed....

A year to the day we received our definitive test that Chambers was going to have Down Syndrome. I remember the weeks leading up like it was yesterday.  I remember my doctor calling me and telling me my results came back with positives signs that there was either Trisomy 21 or Trisomy 18 in my possible future.  I remember sitting in the stall in Gold's Gym and sobbing to my friend Jinda.  She  in her ever calming way told me everything was going to be ok.  I believed her and knew that I could handle what ever was going to happen.

Well the week went on..we visited UAB.  We met with the genetic counselor and she read our results.  One in two chances. Yep, one in two for T21. I think Ingram and I looked at each other in disbelief.  We chuckled and decided the only way to know what to go on with the many tests.  The ultrasound was first. Nothing showed.  The only thing they knew was that we would have a very active baby.  The next step..yes an amnio.  Try #1 --it did not take.  What??  Yes I said that right--the needle,  the pain I had to endure that again??

So we waited three weeks until my membranes we ready.  The test was done..and then we had to wait. We waited seven to ten longs days for my results to come back. The Mercedes Marathon was taking up a lot of my time.  The volunteering for the Bell Center was helping. The call came and the drama started.  I pulled over on the side of the road.  I put Ingram in on the call.  The counselor spoke and I hardly listened.  All I could here was positive for Trisomy 21.  Positive for Trisomy 21.  Really did she just say that?  I couldn't breathe.  I cried and I cried and I cried.  I thought my life was over.

That weekend was one of the hardest weekends of my life.  I was put in front of many families that had experienced this same thing.  I was put in front of many children with Downs Syndrome.  I could not see the light.  I could not see the hope.  I could not see the future.  All I wanted to do was cry.  That is what I did. For three long days I cried.  I cried at commercials. I cried when people hugged me.  I cried when my husband breathed.  I could not get a hold of what was happening to us.  To me.  To my children.  How was I going to turn this around?

My turning point during the weekend was my friend Ruth and her simple wisdom.  I mentioned this before but we can't see the future with any child so why should this growing child inside my belly be any different.  From that point on, I knew somehow it was all going to be ok. I knew that this was going to change us and this was going to make everyone better.

It is amazing to go through a year and look back on your feelings and emotions.  I knew that it was not going to be real until she was here.  I couldn't imagine what it was going to be like.  Was it going to take away from my children--not it has only made it easier.  Was it going to put a strain on Ingram and me--well every relationship needs work--but it has made us better--most of the time!  I can't believe my fears a year ago--do I still have them--yes some of them.  But mostly I know that it is all going to be ok.  I know that when I hold that wonderful child I feel a sense of love that I have never felt.  I know that I live in a place where I have so much support its unreal.  

I think back on the people that we have met and are going to meet.  It overwhelms me with love.  I love my new club and would not trade it for the world.  My daughter is a true reason to make everything better.  She has brought grown men to tears because there is just something about her.  

So as I look back on the anniversary of sorts--I take a deep breath.  I look around and take it all in.  It went by very fast.  It was something that was a shock at first--but such a blessing now.  I am not just saying that. I have no regrets. Most of the time I have no fears. I embrace my future with arms wide open.  Oh and I embrace my 43rd year well with arms sort of opening-lets just say my 37th redo year-they lets jump right in!!

January! 

May..Mother's Day!

June Shower

Large and in charge

Do it all over again!

Words of Wisdom

Sweet friends!

Can I get any bigger??

Gorgeous friends!

Proud of my little buddy...

Ok so a proud mama moment...maybe what I have been saying has been getting into my sweet son's head.  I haven't been preaching or talking about Down Syndrome over and over again. It's just not my style.  However, I explained to Gram and Eliza what it was.  I let them know that Chambers probably would do things a bit later than some of her peers.  SOmething things she would be right up to where they were and somethings not.

I did however briefly talk about using the word.  I said its just not a nice word and when they hear someone say it, they need to politely say, "Please don't say that word!"

Well he listened.  He heard and I am so proud.  It was an adult that did say it. It was a friend of ours that did say it.  Did he mean it in a mean way---NO!  It just came out.  Would we have thought anything of it an year ago?  NO!

At the point I heard my son say politely, "please don't say that word."  I have NEVER been more proud!  He was kind and well mannered, but he knew what we all know...that that word needs to be removed from our daily language.

Gram, on this 3rd day of February--Mama couldn't be more proud of you standing by your baby sister--and having your first BIG BROTHER MOMENT!!  She may not ever know that you did that--but you  just in that one moment paid it forward and made mommy very proud!!

cutest almost nine year old around!!

February the month of Tracy

so a few things bring this month to me...

1. Of course my birthday.  I will be 43--say it isn't so. I cannot believe that the little girl who idolized her brother--still does by the way--shhhh.  The person who drove by random guys houses incognito in college..shhhh and the girl that kept her prize blanket and mousey until she got her own dog--is going to be 43.

How is this so? I can't keep a straight face when my kids do silly things.  I sing and play music really loud..still.  I can't find the time to truly be an adult--so how is it that I am one?

2.  February 9--the day our aha moment came crashing into us.  This is the day that we found out about Chambers.  Our lives would be greatly changed.  Then I could not understand why this was happening.  Now---well I can't get anything done because I want to hold and kiss her all the time!

3.  Mercedes Marathon..I will be running the relay this year--but if any day out of the year is exciting its this one.  Having been the previous chairperson in the Service Guild, it means a lot to run this as a parent.  It also means a lot to run it with my HUSBAND!  Yes, we will both be turning that corner and racing in to hear our named called supporting who...CHAMBERS!

February is a grand month--its the month of me!!  I am sure I will think of more reasons why I love this month but right now I am just relishing the fact that I get a whole weekend to celebrate with family and good friends!

Now as for the last month--the month of Eliza--enjoy some of her pics from her monthly claim!

Happy 7th!!

hmmm..what's inside?

best friends about to get the surprise of their lives!!

and the party continues!

The "R" Word

I am so new at this only welcomed into my club for five months.  However, I cannot believe how offended I already am by the word.  I was an avid user of the word before I even began to think about Chambers.  However, now I really see the harm in it.  If you look up the definition of the word it states:

: slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress

So basically when I hear people use this a conversation about an incident was retarded or a person's actions were retarded it doesn't really make sense!

If all of you can just make sure that when you here that word uttered in a conversation, you put a stop to it.  Its offensive, rude, and needs to be changed from our vocabulary.  

My daughter may have some limitations, however, I feel that she will do everything that each of my other children did in her own time.  It may take her longer to talk, but she is my child--I have no worries that she will be sitting in the back of the car about to drive us crazy with constant chatter! 

It may take her longer to walk--but again she is my child--I am sure that she will be at the gym working out with me in many of my classes and running her own marathon as she gets older!

It may take her longer to learn some things--but here is where she is Ingram's child--and I have no worries that she will be explain to us the fact that our roof lines on our gingerbread house does not line up!!

So please take the time to remind people that the word is just not acceptable anymore.  We can totally think of other words to use instead:

stupid

silly

idiotic

socially awkward

unsophisticated

dumb

horrible

wrong

lame

Here is a link to pledge that you will help End the Word:

http://www.r-word.org/

THanks for helping out--Chambers!!