Being cautious....

Gram gets a whole post today.  What I must do for one child I must do for the other.  He is my first born.  He is the essence of the first born child.  Cautious, careful, full of fear, afraid he will get in trouble for anything.  Our personalities are way too similar.  I see so much of me in him---probably why we butt heads all the time.

The qualities in him that I do see are amazing.  He gets it naturally, but I do want him to go beyond the fears and experience life.  He is a creative child--when he wants to be.  He is a sports driven child--when he wants to be. He is willing to try many things--when he wants to try.  I want him to go beyond my personalities and live.

I know he will come into his own--and honestly already has developing personality traits that are unlike mine.  He has so much living to do to find what fits for him.  Boys are so much different than girls--they grow differently, develop differently, feel differently, and think differently.  To have one is to see why our husbands behave like they do--and why they are always boys.

To look at old pictures of Gram is to see his personality coming through.  I enjoy watching him change everyday.  I like to see new sides of him that I didn't know existed.  I am interested to see where he will be in 10 years--when I send him off to college.  Right now he is planning on going to UAB or Samford so he can live with mommy and daddy--and I love that!  But in a few years--who knows. I can embrace the fact that he wants to be close to us now--and love the fact that he still wants to snuggle.  The fact that in his autobiography at school his prize possession was his "boppy" (the thing he sleeps with) brings comfort to my heart.

He is my first born--he will always be my comfort and my security.  Full of fear or not I just want him to love what he does and have the passion for what ever road he chooses to take.

Just a few pictures to show Gram in his element--what he LOVES to do!!

Love of baseball..he is number 9--I used this one before but it shows so much passion!!

Love of dinosaurs started early..

at the zoo

hamming it up before school

love of sister

fearful of the birds

love of the beach

again..love of sister

love of the superhero.

love of the outdoors and the beach..

love of the hula hoop

hamming it up at 4k graduation

love of fishing..

love of Pluto???

loves to dance...the worm

loves his friends

Being Brave...

So tonight I decided to be brave.  We tell our kids to be brave all the time.  I catch myself telling my son all the time, "Just go into the bathroom and turn on the lights yourself!"  Being the first child I think he remains cautious at about most everything.  He hesitates in baseball--making sure he does the right thing.  He hesitates in timed math tests--thinking everything through.  He and I need to go on a retreat hosted by my daughter and my husband.

She is really brave and has NO fear.  That is where I should become more like her--be brave or fearless.  She really shows great signs of having no fear.  She doesn't have fear when she gets dressed.  She shows no fear when approaching people.  Her everyday behavior is amazing--she knows she will succeed and is very confident.

So today and it has taken me many days to do this...I am going to be brave.  I know that putting myself out there may not seem brave to anyone else, but to me it is.  It is a moment I am sharing with friends and family what our future holds.  I however really don't know what our future will hold...heck no one really does.  However, we do know that we will have challenges. We have 11 weeks to enjoy our party of four and after that our new little growing family will be upon us.

We will have sleepless nights, late night feedings, and lots and lots of diapers.  I hope I remember how to change a diaper.  We also will have each other.  I am sure the definition of BRAVE has not even enter my dictionary.  Things are going to be different, but they are with any new addition to your family.

I am looking for the next several weeks as a time to embrace what we have and the weeks after to embrace what will be given to us!  So for the next several weeks--I vow to take on the braveness of Eliza and wear what I want to wear--well what will fit--be who I want to be --and live as though I want to live.

Thanks for Eliza bringing braveness into my vocabulary!!

Eliza will try any food

Eliza will wear anything

Eliza will interrupt a man to give him a kiss

Eliza is not scared to be silly

Eliza is strong like a superhero!

Eliza is not scared to cheer for another team!

Eliza is not scared to get in well water!

Happy anytime

Not afraid to upstage her brother

Taking a leap of faith

On the top of the world!

People who make you better...

Ok..so after a wonderful weekend of baseball, softball, parties, and the gym, I have discovered that there are people that are placed in your life to only make you a better person!  When I speak to these people, I feel better having met them!  It makes me want to be a better person.

Many people have been placed in my life for various reasons.  Starting in college.  The people that you meet make you who you are today.  Whether it is in relationships or friendships.  They create the type of person that makes you assertive or helps you to become set in your ways.  I have realized that people come and go, but the friends you make then are friends that stay.  These people you can pick up where you left off and keep on going.

After college friends seem to be the most life altering.  In a good way--well most!  These are the people that you meet that form your soul.  They see you through your relationships-good and bad.  They are there with you through your wedding--babies--breakups and reunions.  These are the people you still keep in contact with on a weekly, daily, or monthly basis.  They are there and you know they are there.

Then there are people that just happen in your life that truly make you a better person.  All of the above did as well, but these people enter for just moments --that when you walk away you ask yourself, "why can't I be more like them!"  I see this through people that my husband works with and has introduced me to in my side business.  I met this family and see why my husband talks to highly of them.  Two brothers that honestly, I hope will order more product just so I can be enlightened for a day.  I don't know if it is what they say or how they say it, but you truly wonder why all people can't be like that.  The world would be a better place.

People have come into my life through my children.  Wondering how I never met this person and their family before.  How I am so lucky that our paths have crossed and I too am a better person for meeting these families.  Whether it be in baseball or dance --I truly feel blessed to have been in the same space as these wonderful souls.

Now I know that Chambers has been brought into our life to make us better people.  I know that we have a plan and this is obviously it.  We have already met the most supportive, loving, and thoughtful people and she is NOT even born yet.  I can't wait to share pictures of her and the people that she has brought into our life.  I know that my whole family will be enriched and enlightened by the energy that she brings to us.  I can honestly say that with 12 more weeks to go life is only going to get better.

Just a few!  Wish I could add more or had more!!

The Punch Bug Fund

Ok--so my family plays this fun game while in the car..Punch Bug.  Every time we see a punch bug, old or new, we claim it.  Right now I am not sure who is in the lead, but its a pretty close race.  It becomes a diversion of sorts on long trips or drives around Birmingham.  Its a great way to get the kids from arguing in the car.  It is also a wonderful way to create a healthy competition between Ingram and me.  Whenever one of us calls a Punch Bug it is a true sign of accomplishment!

This week we went to the pediatric cardiologist.  Chambers has what is called an Atrial Septal Defect (ASD).  What is it?  A small opening or hole in the wall between the two heart's upper chambers.  Funny that her name is Chambers right?  Our cardiologist LOVED that!!  

Anyway, can it be repaired?  Yes!  From sometime in her first six years of life she will undergo surgery to "patch" the spot that is defected.  Its not as serious as it sounds, but any type of surgery is serious.  So a set back in what I thought was going to be a normal beginning..well normal for Chambers.  Will she be fine?  Yes!  The doctor said that it will not hold her back from beginning anything or doing anything that we had planned in the early beginning--like say early intervention.  My hope, it will repair itself.  Do we need prayers right now?  Yes!  A diversion? Yes!  That is where the Punch Bug Fund comes in to play.

My dream or my goal for our family:  to create a fund to buy a 78-79 convertible Beetle!!  We can do this--it will be sort of like our game--except every time we go into the garage we will get to start our day saying, "PUNCH BUG!"  And in the that case--everyone wins!!

What a change of emotions

Things are much different now as I am heading into the third trimester.  Yes I am almost there!  I don't know if my emotions are scared because its a new baby or scared because its a new baby!

Things are perfect now--easy---well most of the time.  My children have their current six and eight year old moments, but most of the time I feel like I am heading in the right direction.

 There is my outlet the gym.  I teach many classes and LOVE it!  I wonder how that will change or if it will have to change.  This is my time and I hope and pray that selfishly I won't have to change a thing.  Its so awesome to get paid for what you love!  I do love it!  The members, the music, the time away, and the many close friends that I have created.  Nothing beats your gym friends.  They have become my best friends for sure! I confide in them and share with them.  Each of them has gone down this road with me and will continue to take turns and help guide me in the right direction.  It is truly my friends that have made this transition and beginning of my journey manageable.  They have helped me to keep my emotions in check and let me know that everything will be ok!

I remember on a night when doom and gloom was entering my brain crying to a friend through text--yes text--but that is how we talk for hours.  Crying about my future or Chambers' future.  Will she go to college, will she have boyfriends, will she hold a job--her response, "Tracy, my father thinks the same thing about my 25 year old sister and she is NOT even special needs!"  That was my turn around.  I don't know if she knows that or not, but it really helped me put things in perspective.  We never know what our children will be doing in 20 years.  We only hope for the best and that our guidance and nurturing will lead them on the right path.

Rebecca's Birthday! 

My Birthday with Ingram 

Quarterly RPM!

Body Flow girls!

Nan and me

Shannon and me

Alicia and me UGA vs. Auburn

So to close for today or for the next few weeks...I am happy and calm in the fact that my life will be enriched by this sweet little life.  To hold her and to see her is going to make everything very real.  There are going to be challenges that we will have to face.  But as a family and with a strong group of friends that we have developed we will get through this and only become stronger!